Just watching Australian Story - dementia.

I know a lot of people slowly die of this disease, but I just always ask the question why? Because I believe you get one life forever.

You have to be good of course, or evil will kill you, but for something like dementia which I have had a good taste of myself going through severe mental illness - there were times I was lost, and forgot everyone, and didn't know what I was anymore, my perspective of self was destroyed. I was in bed and the room divided and I thought I had died and I was caught drowning on one side of the room, then I would roll over and after some time, I could stand and get out of bed..for some time, before it was all too much again and I had to return to my death bed.

So while I didn't die of dementia I felt what some of the symptoms were like and also that feeling that this is it, I can't recover and I won't and I will be like this deteriorating till I am dead, and there is no way out.

It is not a contest who had it worst, I am just saying I have tasted how bad it is.

And I was in the car one day and heard on the radio Jetset Travel and Tourism training at the Jetset college in the city was offering pension concession places to study tourism.

I was scared, it was right in the heart of the city, I had to get up every day and travel and commute in and get there on time, and it was basically a classroom of young beautiful women, a few guys and some older students but mostly pretty girls.. and I was single..

And I tried it and I liked it for the most part, and I got my memory faculty back trying to remember all the destinations and finding new knowledge I had to try and remember and use professionally.

But I went on holiday with Mum to her parents house and I was stung by a huge tropical hornet on my bone on my finger and at the same hour Mum got stung right in the same spot on her hand.. and I started suffering badly breaking up with my Mum.

And when I got back to school I would start to try and study and I would sit staring into space in anaphylaxis shock, and I didn't really know.. so I had to leave. I didn't know to get treatment.

But it helped me recover, because I tried and tried and I was scared but I kept going. Even though I didn't pass the course I did very well anyway, but I was sick from the sting... but I got my memory working again whereas other people might have given up and stayed in bed afraid.